Nursing school is filled with rigorous coursework, hours and hours of studying, and let's not forget those clinical rotations.
Where exactly, you may ask yourself, does dating even fit into this demanding schedule?
While nursing school and dating don’t exactly go together like peanut butter and jelly, there are ways to make it work—just expect it to look a lot less like candlelit dinners and more like, “Honey, I need to study,” while aggressively stuffing down sandwiches you ordered out for the 2 of you.
In other words, yes, dating in nursing school may require sacrifices from both you and your partner.
Already balancing nursing school and dating, or just have your antennas out for a potential boo? You’re in the right place.
Is dating possible while in nursing school?
Yes, dating is possible while in nursing school, but here’s the catch: it won’t always be a walk in the park, and you will need to have a very understanding partner.
The American Nurses Association says, “You can become an RN in 2 years, but many employers now prefer nurses with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing (BSN), which takes 4 years to complete.”
During this time, you will also have to nail down what nursing concepts you should master to pass the NCLEX. Every student is different, but some Reddit nurses say they spend anywhere from 4 to 6 weeks studying for the NCLEX.
And then come clinicals—when it’s time to take your nursing training wheels off and bring all the skills you have learned thus far to the floor.
Here’s the equation in simple terms:
lectures + clinicals + studying = around 40-60 hours weekly commitment
So, do nurses need to study a lot? Yes! But this doesn’t mean you need to spend your life in the library, sacrificing a chance to spend time with your sweetheart outside of school.
The reality check: The nursing student lifestyle is rewarding but can be hectic and very time-consuming, leaving little time to date. Developing practical strategies can help nurture the love languages and keep the flame alive.
Strategic dating: The “how to”
Now that you know dating is actually possible as a nurse, let’s get to the good stuff. Here are some great tips for nurses who want to explore dating in nursing school.
1. Use digital tools to find sweet pockets of free time
If you already have a partner, sync your calendars and schedule time together with precision. Dating in nursing school requires immense respect from both partners regarding time and punctuality.
If you both decide to meet at a certain time, commit to sticking with it—aka, no flaking.
Plan a date at least once a week when you know each other’s schedule and meet up for coffee, lunch, or a midday snuggle.
It’s about making time, even if it's only an hour or 30 minutes, to give each other a hug or a kiss between the hustle of nursing school.
Here’s the exception: Sometimes a nursing student will be asked or will volunteer to stay after their clinical rotation has ended. In this case, if you are a nursing student, you may have to call your significant other and say, “Babe, I am staying extra time at my clinical rotation.” If your partner answers with love and understanding, you may just have a keeper.
2. Educate your partner
If you are a nurse and are dating a non-nurse, there are concepts your non-nurse partner may be unaware of. For instance:
- When you say, “that you just got home,” it doesn’t mean you are emotionally or (quite frankly) physically available for anything too deep. Usually, when you come home after a long day of clinical rotations, you will want to decompress. Be transparent with your partner and tell them you need “X” hours to be by yourself.
- Inform your partner that when you talk about your “gross stories” from your day at work, you aren’t looking for sympathy or to shock anyone. You just need to process your day. You hope, deep down, that this doesn’t “turn off” your partner. You just need someone who listens and doesn’t judge.
- When you are silent and focused, it doesn’t mean you are mad at your partner; it means you are focusing on a highly complex nursing concept you need to learn by the morning, such as memorizing the arterial blood gases (ABGs) without bursting into tears.
Dating a non-nurse is about educating them and explaining what you need as a student and as a working nurse. Remember, they can’t read your mind (even though you would like them to), so be direct and upfront about your needs.
Things to keep in mind: If you are dating a fellow nurse student, they are likely to be more sympathetic to everything we mentioned above. However, it’s important to tread lightly when dating colleagues and mentors in nursing school.
Plus, if you have your eye on a patient, that’s a pretty firm no. Ethical and professional guidelines strictly prohibit romantic relationships with current patients.
3. Set boundaries
Setting boundaries is an important part of any type of relationship, whether you are a nurse or not. Dating in nursing school has stricter boundaries that will strengthen a relationship, such as:
Protecting study time
Skip the Netflix or HBO binge on your favorite series and make it clear to your partner that studying always comes first.
Don’t worry, you will have plenty of time to binge-watch your series once you have your certificate or registration and have some days off. For example, becoming a per diem nurse (PRN) gives you more control over your schedule, allowing you to choose hours that fit your lifestyle.
Setting emotional boundaries
When you come home from a 12-hour shift, remind yourself that you are probably not ready to jump into a deep or heated conversation.
Make sure you remind your partner post-shift that you may need a snack, a shower, or some quiet time to yourself.
Explaining communication
Remind your partner that you may need to answer quickly during your clinical rotations.
Invent a code that’s just for you and your other half. For instance, “Can’t talk clinicals, ya know how they be..” or send the same meme to convey that you are busy.
4. The support system
Include your partner in your support system. Define what you need, and be direct. If your partner visits your house often, tell them how they can support you.
For instance:
- Tell your partner you prefer home-cooked meals as opposed to going out to restaurants. Or maybe it’s the other way around; you love takeout and getting out of the house to take your mind off things.
- If you are recently dating (and are dating a non-nurse), tell your partner you would love to have them around while you study—not to distract you, but simply to exist in the same space.
- If your love language is acts of service, tell your partner that while you study, you would appreciate it if they tidied up the kitchen or washed some dishes.
- If your love language is touch, make sure you let them know that a kiss or a hug is the perfect reset. If it’s not, let them know that you often feel “touched out” after a shift and need some space.
These are just a few tactics to help you date while in nursing school. If you notice any red flags or backlash to your boundaries when dating a person, it may be a good idea to step back and review—after all, that's what nurses do best:
- Assess
- Evaluate
- Intervene if necessary
Red flags: When to pause the relationship
Whether you are new to the dating scene or have been dating someone for some time, the principles remain the same: respect, understanding, and compromise need to come from both sides of the relationship.
Imagine this: You come to tell your partner your NCLEX exam is coming up, and they make you feel bad for studying. They say things like:
“You're always studying.”
“Obviously, studying matters more than me.”
“If you don’t stop studying or seeing me more, it’s over.”
“Nursing school is such a waste of money. You are going to get into too much debt.”
If a partner makes you feel bad for studying, this is a red flag, especially if you have talked about it and it doesn't stop.
Other red flags include:
- Minimizing how hard nursing school is and saying things like, “It can’t be that bad, you get stressed too easily, etc.”
- If you are dating a fellow nursing student and they start to become competitive in a malicious way, for example, hiding study resources, or hoping that you underperform, these are also major red flags.
Other red flags include ignoring the boundaries you clearly set or internalizing your success into their insecurities that leak out in toxic ways. Basically, if you see any of these behaviours, run for the hills, and run fast.
Nursing school is hard enough; adding an unhealthy relationship on top of it isn’t what you or any other nurse bargained for when getting out in the dating scene.
The long game: Is dating worth it?
Time management for nursing students is everything. Fitting a dating life into an already jam-packed schedule isn’t a piece of cake.
Remember this, though: Nursing school is a season of your life, not a lifetime. A loving and supportive partner will be your number one fan, cheering you on until the finish line.
First, focus on yourself and make sure you are healthy and are prioritizing your own happiness. After that, go out and date.
You're on a great path to success; there is no reason why you can’t have someone by your side to enjoy the road with you!
Looking for more ways to take a breather on your days off from studying and clinicals? Here are some ways nurses can prioritize physical and mental wellness.
Sources:
