Hey hey. We see you, falling hard for that nurse coworker you swore to yourself you definitely would not catch a feeling for.
So, you have an emotional connection at work?
Every time you're around them, your cheeks get red, and you suddenly care a little more about how cute you look in your scrubs.
Oh dear, dating as a nurse is already hard. Nurse relationships at work are even more complicated. That’s why we are offering you a road map to help you navigate this situation.
Keep your heart and your mind in check, and everything will be A-okay.
Is dating a coworker as a nurse possible?
Yes, you can date a coworker at a hospital (or a medical setting). But before you start to get stuck in the awkwardness that professional conflicts could bring, let’s make something really clear.
There’s a catch—it is often discouraged and requires strict professionalism, adherence to hospital policies, and proactive management of potential conflicts of interest.
In fact, the National Institutes of Health Policy Statement strongly discourages personal relationships (including romantic and/or sexual) between individuals in inherently unequal positions, where one party has a real or perceived authority over the other in their professional roles.
Okay, what does that even mean?
Basically, yes, nurses can date coworkers, but it is generally discouraged due to risks of sexual harassment, drama, professional conflicts of interest, and awkwardness if the relationship ends.
Once the relationship has reached a certain level of “seriousness,” discussing this relationship with human resources is your best bet.
Let’s just say it out loud: Nurses fall for coworkers. A lot—I mean, come on, we are human after all.
Instead of feeling bad or guilty about it, we will get down to the basics of workplace relationships in healthcare, such as what happens if you fall in love with a coworker, and why it happens without feeling like the cupid police is going to write you up.
Why nurses fall for coworkers: The psychology of workplace romance
Nurses work in a small, intimate setting that requires constant communication and support.
Long shifts, emotional moments, and a level of teamwork that other people don’t necessarily understand create a setting that lends itself to emotional connection.
Every nurse has a different personality and will bond with others in their unique way—sometimes that bond goes deeper.
In fact, it makes sense when you are a nurse and spend long hours together in high-pressure situations that connections will naturally occur.
Ever try to revive a patient in cold blue together? There is nothing casual about that moment.
One of the reasons dating a nurse colleague on your team may feel so intense is that you immediately have to navigate traumatic situations together—and find a solution.
From here, emotional intimacy may develop quickly.
Moreover, nurse schedules can be hectic. If you fall for a nurse coworker, they understand the chaos of working 12-hour shifts or a brutal Baylor plan.
Studies even show that partners who experience increased levels of adrenaline also experience increased levels of attraction. Shared stress is often the perfect recipe for shared attraction and arousal.
Imagine this: You are an emergency nurse working a chaotic shift, all the call lights are going off, and you're losing the patient. Another nurse steps in and gives you the exact support you need.
This nurse has always been there to support you. They always notice you are drowning before you even have to say a word, and they jump in and help you.
Afterward, you develop a closeness with this individual. You talk about life goals, plans for your days off, and suddenly you feel the urge to ask them out for a date—is this wrong?
No—it’s human. There is no universal rule that bans workplace relationships in nursing. (Dating a patient is a whole different story.)
I want to date my nurse coworker, how can I do it?
Dating a fellow nurse in your workplace is probably okay, but you should proceed with caution—especially when you consider how closely nurse burnout and relationships can be tied together.
In other words, it's always best to take care of yourself as a nurse and make sure you are healthy before investing in any relationship, particularly a coworker at the same hospital (or medical facility) where you are working.
There are so many things to take into consideration in nursing, such as whether it’s okay to have piercings and tattoos. Falling in love is just another one to add to the list.
There are a lot of factors to consider when dating a coworker while working as a nurse:
- Dating your supervisor is risky: Many facilities prohibit this altogether because of the power difference (hierarchy).
- Know the rules before you make a move: If you are interested in a coworker, it’s best to check your medical facility’s handbook for policies on dating and relationships first. Some hospitals require disclosure if you decide to engage in a romantic relationship with a colleague.
- Keep patient health a priority: Consider if a relationship would jeopardize your ability to prioritize your patients.
- Be strong in your nurse boundaries: Showing public displays of affection or entertaining your relationship that takes away from patient care will not be tolerated in most facilities.
At the end of the day, you must check your employer's policies.
Be honest with yourself
When you find yourself falling for a co-worker, be honest with yourself: Is it a true connection or just a passing crush?
Are you crushing on your nurse colleague because they are always in close proximity to you, or is it that you both truly share similar values and interests?
One way to dive deeper into these questions is to spend time with that nurse colleague outside of work. Grab a casual cup of coffee, go on a lunch date, and set aside time to get to know the person on a deeper level.
You may be surprised that personalities outside of work can be very different from what they are on shift, for better or for worse.
Have a plan if things don’t work out
Okay, so hold up. What do you do in these situations?
Situation: After grabbing that cup of coffee or going out on a lunch date with a nurse colleague you have been crushing on, you realize that you are not compatible.
Situation: You have already had a few months of dating, and you realize that the emotional and chemistry connection you thought you had with your nurse coworker isn’t actually there, like, at all.
It will be harder if the other person still shows interest, but this is your time to establish boundaries.
Protecting your work environment and mental health should be your main priority, so if you feel like this, it’s time to end the relationship.
Try your hardest not to bring the drama of your split into the hospital setting. We know it’s hard. But this is your time to put some distance between you, focus on yourself, and give high-quality care to your patients.
Signs it might be crossing a line
What if you are totally head-over-heels in love with a nurse coworker, but it’s affecting your work?
This dynamic can also happen between nurse coworkers.
If you are focusing more on the relationship itself and starting to forget little things, like charting on time or checking up on patients, this is a big red flag that your relationship is crossing the line.
Other signs that your relationship may be crossing the line are:
- Thinking about the person constantly during shifts, and unable to focus
- Prioritizing this person over responsibilities—big red flashing red flag
- Developing an emotional dependence at work, like feeling thrown off when you argue with them during a shift
- Becoming jealous when other nurse coworkers talk to them, even when the banter is professional
These points just cover the tip of the iceberg; there are many other signs that a work relationship, especially in healthcare, is crossing the line.
The best things you can do are listen to your gut and seek external professional guidance on steps to prevent your relationship from keeping you from being the best nurse you can be for your patients.
Can workplace relationships ever work in medical settings?
Yes, they absolutely can. We love this story shared on Reddit, along with many others:
“Met my husband in the operating room. I was a scrub nurse, he was the surgeon. We fell in love over many a gastrectomy, mastectomy, cholecystectomy.”
Aww…
Plenty of nurses build healthy, long-term relationships with coworkers. But, how do you keep them healthy and strong?
Here are some ways to keep your relationships with your nursing colleagues healthy and positive:
- Be clear in your communication.
- Set strong boundaries.
- Prioritize a shared commitment to professionalism.
Having a relationship with your coworker is not about avoiding connection; it’s about handling it with intention.
2 big points to keep in mind:
- When you are serious as a couple, inform your manager or your facility that you are in a stable relationship.
- If you both decide to split, try to keep that drama outside of work.
Is dating a coworker worth it?
Nurses fall for coworkers. It’s normal. It’s human. And in so many ways, it makes sense.
But here’s the thing—your patients come first.
If you are eyeing a coworker, the key isn’t to shut down your feelings for them. It’s completely normal to feel strong feelings for a nurse colleague who shows up and supports you daily, especially during emotional patient experiences.
However, it may be a good idea to sit with your emotions for a while. Pause, reflect, and take some time to know your coworker.
Ask them out for coffee or lunch, see what they are into. See if their morals and values align with yours.
Love, well, it’s a complicated game to play, but totally worth it when you find the right one.
Just make sure you are setting boundaries and focusing on your work when you’re at work, so your relationship isn’t interfering with your care for patients, and all should be good.
Looking for opportunities to be a per diem nurse and create a nurse work-life balance schedule that fits your work-life balance? Download Nursa today, and find high-paying gigs near you.
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